Monday, April 12, 2010

The Ugly, AKA, A Terrible Rant

If you don't want to see the "ugly" side of me, don't read this post. A nicer post is coming, I promise, and you can just wait for that one, if you want. I hate money. Hate, hate, hate it. It brings sorrow, and it brings false joy. It causes death for some and breathes life for others without reason or rhyme. Money causes woe and misery when it is lacked AND where it is found in abundance. Money is the root of ALL evil, some say. Money causes tears, money causes hatered. Money can lead to murder and a long list of other horrific acts. I. HATE. Money. And yet, I find myself constantly begging for money for Sixteen Small Stones. How often have I asked people I don't even really know to donate? How often have I WISHED I had money to buy food, clothes, blankets for the orphans? How often have I thought, "If I had the money, I would send all of these donations...". How often have I said, "If I had the money, I would be on a plain to Whatever Place to help and to gather those babies in my arms!" I beg. I really, really do. Pathetically and usually shamelessly. The gratitude I feel over any tiny donation is like that of any other sincere beggar (and I don't mean the guy on the corner in BRAND NEW Ni*ke's, okay?). I often cry over donations. Sometimes I laugh so hard and loudly that I think my very soul will explode, so overwhelmed am I at the thought of someone donating. In tears of joy or laughter, I praise God for His mercy and for sending someone with a broken heart (and now wallet, probably) to give what I cannot. There is a group I follow (kind of) on facebook. This group is trying to help people around America. They are four youths, maybe 19-22. They are going to travel around the U.S. and help people start small NGOs to help their communities. A worthy cause. A good idea. It is wonderful that they are helping so many people! But why are people so drawn to THIS cause? In their FIRST DAY on facebook, they earned over $700.00 in donations. Today, they earned almost $1,000.00. In one day. I am so, so thankful that people will help them! I think their work is noble and amazing and wonderful! I am just wondering WHY people are more willing to donate to them than other places. I see some of the smaller ministries with whom we work, struggling to earn enough to feed the children in their care, begging for any small donation. Trying to draw blood from a turnip. Why are people more enthusiastic about one kind of NGO than another? Thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas? I am SOOOO thankful for the donations we have brought in! They have helped so much and are changing so many lives! But why is it so hard to find more people who will donate? I thought it was because of the economy, because of this or that, but this group is not facing these struggles. If they need money, they mention it and their costs for anything are covered. Today, they needed $800.00 and they were donated a thousand. Do they get donations because they DON'T beg? Am I SO pathetic that people refuse to donate? Like how no one will kick a dog, but they will squish a fly...because it is certainly the more pathetic of the two. Do I beg like a fly or a dog? How off track can I get in this post? How greedy and obnoxious can I sound? I will leave it to your comments to judge that. Thank you for listening to my rant.



I know how you feel. :) Some people ( like me ) are just total procratinators :) I'll donate...but I like to put it in the mail and not do it online ( weird I know )....message me on facebook your address that you want me to send it to. I promise I won't start dropping in on you or anything weird :) I'll just send a check. :) I HATE MONEY TOO!!!!!! My mother in law says "The only people who hate money are the people who don't have any."
Isn't that the truth. It DOES change people though, and not for the better (although I feel like there are maybe 2% of the population of rich who do some good with their money). I've said the same thing as you..."If we were rich we would give so much away!" We haven't been blessed with that particular "test" maybe it's about sacrifice. It's no a sacrifice if it doesnt hurt. :) Good luck! Rant away! Ranting is healthy for you! I just wrote and saved a rant post on my blog, but didn't post it yet...I'll have to "de-rant" it a bit! Just keep asking...people will donate. It just takes time.

gabi dickinson said...

I have definitely felt this way. Often. So, please don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. It is human to be frustrated. I feel the same when I see ''famous'' bloggers( by this I just mean well-known ones) who will go on a missions trip & need hundreds, or usually thousands of dollars and within days they'll have all of the money. Just. Sigh. He'll provide for His treasures in Africa and China. He loves them infinitely more than our depths of love for them :)