Also, this post is very jumbled. I am sorry for that. I spent the week trying to organize my thoughts, but I am not good at that, and I wanted to write what was on my heart, not what sounded "good" or sounded right. I was able to write what I wanted to say, disorganized though it may be.
Finally, this post does hold some "ugly truth". It may be difficult to hear, but hey, it was difficult for me to witness.