Sunday, February 8, 2009

I have been so worried about what I am going to do that I have forgotten that it is not about what _I_ am going to do, but about what GOD is going to do. I keep stressing about if I am supposed to go to Ghana. I remember the day several months ago when I felt so prompted to be in Ghana in August. My entire life has been bent on that. GHANA. Where we will live. What we will eat. How it will be...But it is not about me or Taiger. It is only about GOD. Why should I worry? Why should I fear? Why should I wonder what I will do in August? HE who knows the plan, HE who knows my heart, HE who gave me life and gives me each day, HE KNOWS. He already knows what I will be doing in August. HE knows where I will be. Maybe I will be right here. Why do I worry that HE has changed HIS mind? HE is unchanging, the same forever in the past and forever for all of Eternity. He had a purpose for puting into my mind the thought of going to Ghana in August. He has a reason. I don't need to worry, to fear, or to doubt. I need only to put my faith and trust in God and His eternal plan, which extends past August and through Eternity. His plan for me does not only include ME. It includes Taiger, too, of course. But it also includes ALL of the people who I will seve, in China or in Africa...or right here in the U.S. My plan is not HIS plan. His plan is the plan for me. And HIS plan is for EVERYONE. I need to stop thinking and start praying. I must come before him with a broken heart, as the dust of the earth, and say only, "I am here, God. I am Your servant. Direct me where You will have be go." And then STOP, and do NOTHING. Just WAIT until He is ready. For nothing should be done in my time, but in God's time only.

1 comment:

auntie katie said...

your blog comment shook me to the core. it made me feel useful and important in a way that wasn't "oh katie you are so great." thank you for being so open and willing to share your heart. the funny thing is, I, too stuggled so much with eating disorders all through highschool, eating nothing for days and then eating until I was sick. I was already working to change when I got here 18 months ago,but I am quite sure that only becuase I live in a thrid world country did I fully . I will be praying for you, sweet sister