And wouldn't you know it, most of the children there were special needs! I FREAKED OUT! I thought, "I can't come here and volunteer with these kids! This is NOT for me!" After my first afternoon at the orphanage, I was SO discouraged! I just didn't think I could handle helping children with special needs. That just wasn't something I could do. So...do you know what I did? I went back. Yup. If God opened the door, I better be walking through it. I was disheartened, though, and discouraged. I didn't think helping special needs orphans was something I could do. Well, God had other plans. God did not berate me, or belittle me, or get angry at me that I was unsure. Instead, He lead me to that orphanage and do you know what? I fell in LOVE with those children! Taiger and I held them. We fed them. We played with them. We loved them. And do you know what? They loved us back. That experience changed my life! I always said, "Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies!" I had been called, and I went from being so set against the idea of caring for special needs children, to wanting to adopt them all and bring them home! He didn't only soften my heart, He changed it completely! He called me, and He qualified me!So...last week. I am in America. I have been wondering what to do. I want to build my orphan home. I can do this! I can care for special needs children! I DO have it in me! God has qualified me, changed my heart. BUT...what about a food program? What about the children on the streets who are starving? What about the kids who get kicked out of the orphanage when they are 12 and are forced to starve on the streets? Can I just ignore them? I had planned to start a food program, and had felt that there was a great need for it! What do I do now? Which do I do?! People ask me about Sixteen Small Stones. I used to tell them we were opening an orphan home in China. Then, I started telling people we are starting a food program in China. Lately, I have been avoiding the question, and when it comes up, I randomly say one or the other. Because I did. not. know! I was waiting for God to show me which to do. And then, last week happened. Someone asked about Sixteen Small Stones, and without thinking I said, "We are opening an orphan home in China and starting a food program there to feed the people on the street." WHAT?!??!?!?!? Where did that even come from?! The words fell out of my mouth just as if they had been wanting to come out all along. It was so natural and it felt like cool, refreshing water on my lips on a hot day. WHAT?!??!?!?!?! That is what I was thinking! I laugh now, because I realize, maybe that was God's plan all along. So, there it is. Sixteen Small Stones is possibly opening an orphan home AND a food program to feed the people on the streets. (Don't you love how I still say "possibly"? I am so slow to follow. So slow to take up my cross and follow Him and His plan.) HOW?!?!??! I have been thinking that, too. But I remember a God who changed a girl's heart and qualified her to love children with special needs. If He can do that, He can provide the money and manpower. I just keep praying.
Fall on the ranch
19 hours ago