Whom The Lord Calls, He Qualifies.

There are so many things racing through my mind that I want to write about! So, I will just share what I am thinking. First of all, WHAT THE HECK?! Okay, so my first goal, YEEEEEAAAAARS ago, was to open an orphan home in China. That is what I was doing. The End. Then, I found out that the only way to start an orphan home in China is to open a special home that takes special needs children out of the local orphanages and provides them with a home and the medical attention they need. HOW OVERWHELMING IS THAT?!?!?!? I knew I could NOT do that. I wondered why God had put it in my heart to open an orphan home if I couldn't (well, not the way _I_ had wanted!). BUT...I always had faith that God had a plan. Well, I soon found out about these amazing food programs in Africa and thought how wonderful it would be to start one in China. I told myself that this is what God wanted me to do instead of an orphan home. This I could handle. This I could do. And I really felt good about opening a food program. There are so many children on the streets with no food. It breaks my heart. I wanted to do this! And it was something I could handle. This last trip to China, I had gone with the thought that I would look in to opening a food program (where we feed the people who live on the streets). HOWEVER...I lived in an area where that was not a huge need. HOWEVER, I knew that in the city where I had first planned to open my orphanage, there is a HUGE need for a food program. So, I would start the food program in that city. I kept trying to think of the food program, how to run it, where, etc. And do you know what happened? God lead Taiger and I to the local orphanage, where He opened doors and made it possible for us to spend time loving on the kids there.

And wouldn't you know it, most of the children there were special needs! I FREAKED OUT! I thought, "I can't come here and volunteer with these kids! This is NOT for me!" After my first afternoon at the orphanage, I was SO discouraged! I just didn't think I could handle helping children with special needs. That just wasn't something I could do. So...do you know what I did? I went back. Yup. If God opened the door, I better be walking through it. I was disheartened, though, and discouraged. I didn't think helping special needs orphans was something I could do. Well, God had other plans. God did not berate me, or belittle me, or get angry at me that I was unsure. Instead, He lead me to that orphanage and do you know what? I fell in LOVE with those children! Taiger and I held them. We fed them. We played with them. We loved them. And do you know what? They loved us back. That experience changed my life! I always said, "Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies!" I had been called, and I went from being so set against the idea of caring for special needs children, to wanting to adopt them all and bring them home! He didn't only soften my heart, He changed it completely! He called me, and He qualified me!

So...last week. I am in America. I have been wondering what to do. I want to build my orphan home. I can do this! I can care for special needs children! I DO have it in me! God has qualified me, changed my heart. BUT...what about a food program? What about the children on the streets who are starving? What about the kids who get kicked out of the orphanage when they are 12 and are forced to starve on the streets? Can I just ignore them? I had planned to start a food program, and had felt that there was a great need for it! What do I do now? Which do I do?! People ask me about Sixteen Small Stones. I used to tell them we were opening an orphan home in China. Then, I started telling people we are starting a food program in China. Lately, I have been avoiding the question, and when it comes up, I randomly say one or the other. Because I did. not. know! I was waiting for God to show me which to do. And then, last week happened. Someone asked about Sixteen Small Stones, and without thinking I said, "We are opening an orphan home in China and starting a food program there to feed the people on the street." WHAT?!??!?!?!? Where did that even come from?! The words fell out of my mouth just as if they had been wanting to come out all along. It was so natural and it felt like cool, refreshing water on my lips on a hot day. WHAT?!??!?!?!?! That is what I was thinking! I laugh now, because I realize, maybe that was God's plan all along. So, there it is. Sixteen Small Stones is possibly opening an orphan home AND a food program to feed the people on the streets. (Don't you love how I still say "possibly"? I am so slow to follow. So slow to take up my cross and follow Him and His plan.) HOW?!?!??! I have been thinking that, too. But I remember a God who changed a girl's heart and qualified her to love children with special needs. If He can do that, He can provide the money and manpower. I just keep praying.