Friday, February 11, 2011

What Am I Going To Do?

There is so much to DO! Okay, okay, there is a house to clean, laundry to wash, dishes to wash, homework (oh shoot! I have SOMETHING due today...what is it?!). But I am not talking about that. Yes, it is important to do those things, and I DO complete these tasks. Some women are "SUPER GALS"! They do all these things and MORE, and they are amazing! I want to be like you someday (BRYTTAN, just to name one!). However, right now, I have this little problem. I think of those things as things that need to be "done", not as things that need to be engaged in. I want to ENGAGE with Taiger. I don't want to ENGAGE with dishes! There is something else on my mind lately (always). Something kind of bugging me, actually. You know when you have something REALLY important to do (not like homework, that is not at all important... HA! That was a joke!) and it almost WEIGHS on you? Something someone is COUNTING on you to accomplish? I feel that lately. I feel that responsibility. The only problem is, I don't really know what it is I am supposed to do! Frustrating, right? I know! The problem is, I feel like if I look inside myself, I will know what it is I am supposed to do. I know what it is about. ORPHANS. It makes sense it is weighing on me. I mean, God Himself has commanded us to care for the orphan. I read someone's blog the other day and they were saying how people always tell her, "If GOD asked me to adopt, I would". She was saying how aggravated she is with people who say that because God, for one, doesn't have to tell us the obvious! And for two, God HAS asked all of us to adopt! It is like saying, "If God asked me to go to church, I would." GIVE ME A BREAK! He has commanded us to keep the Sabbath day holy! What more do you want?! Lightening to strike YOUR house to make it more personal?! I feel the same way about caring for orphans. God has said that PURE religion is to care for the orphaned and widowed. God has asked us to care for the orphan. Does He really need to come right out and say MY name? No. I know what He wants. Okay, enough with THAT little rant. Anyway, so I know I am supposed to care for orphans...but HOW?! That is where I am right now. I cannot adopt because I don't have the money to pass a home-study. I am working on that. It is my goal! In the meantime, what more should I be doing to follow God's word? There is so much to DO, while I sit here wondering what to do! There are children on the street DYING while I ask myself, "Hmmmm...what should I do?" GET UP AND FEED THE MASSES, for goodness sake! It isn't rocket science! But it kind of is. For me. Where do I go? How do I get there? What do I do, really? Set up a food program? Open a foster home? I look at Katie Davis (Amazima Ministries) and Renee Bach (Serving His Children). They had NO IDEA what they were going to do! They just felt God's call to GO TO AFRICA, and they went. They had no plan. They didn't know what they would be doing there. They just obeyed God and WENT! I see people doing that all the time when it comes to serving orphans. My parents knew they were supposed to adopt, so they jumped! They didn't ask, "How will we pay for it? Where are we supposed to adopt from?" They just obeyed when God called. People do it all the time. Why can't I? Do I lack the faith that GOD will come forward and set my path? Do I think that I will follow His call somewhere and He will walk away and leave me in some country with no direction? I guess so. I worry I will get to, say, China. And just stand there and not know what to do. After 5 months, I will turn around and come home, confused about why I ever left and wondering if I had REALLY heard God's voice asking me to go. The comfort is, if I am answering His call to serve orphans, it is enough. Even if I fail, I have tried to do what God asked. I always think of the scripture, "I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you." God is with the orphan. He is already there, loving them, comforting them. But He needs us to be His hands and feet. To bring the food He will provide. To bring the clothes He will provide. To build the shelters He will provide. He will provide the money, the time, the patience, the food, the shelter. His Grace is sufficient. All I have to do is ACT! So, what am I going to do?

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